Nicole

So I learned this past week there’s nothing like driving in bad conditions to remind you how fragile we are. One idiot changing lanes across a little slush at 65m/h can take out 4 other cars with him. Thankfully Rodrigo and I weren’t one of them. But still. My heart was palpitating off and on during the way up. So I got off on 46, took that across to 47, and took River Rd to Saginaw Rd to Business 10 to 20. And you know, every inch of all those roads is paved with memories. Most of which are fairly unimportant. And yet when combined with all the other old memories dredged up by the things in my house and the people and places I haven’t seen in a while, I got these Technicolor pictures of who I was 5, 10, 15 years ago. And I think they can add a lot to who I am now.

Is any of that making sense? I just love numbers, I guess. Oh well.

I love initials too. Tu PM I went to CBS of the DC book at the KH on the DL. Hahah. I forgot how much I miss M. P and L are still stuck on the same old stuff. Not that it matters, really, but I still would have liked to haved yelled at S: “You should have waited!” Actually, I guess that goes out to all. You should have waited. Think about it.

That’s why I was hanging out on the west side of Saginaw instead of driving back to A^2. That’s why I got a migraine before the meeting yesterday (well, that and my concussion :P). That’s why I still haven’t posted those pix. That’s why I was driving around today listening to Pearl Jam and crying.

Life is beautiful, human beings are beautiful. But we’re not always good about waiting for things. We’ll drive 65 on bad roads and change lanes, even if it almost kills us.

I’m back, and I kinda sorta remembered who I am. Much more to be said later!

Off to prove I’m doing fine. Grrrr. Was home ever home? Where will ever be home?

On the brighter side, I love the WT. It was from a good coupla talks. Or maybe just one, I don’t quite remember.

Life is so weird.

I started talking about lilac-colored shirts at work today. I guess I started really thinking about the old days Wednesday night, running years’ worth of events through that filter of mocking realism that you get as you start to feel as though you’ve lived a while and done some stuff. And I came to the same old conclusion, that it all could have gone my way if I had wanted it to, but I must have somehow seen something else (better!) for myself, and sabotaged it. But I also think there was, for lack of a better way to describe it, oversteer. Which is unwise as well. And it only takes a glance up the aisle to discern some petty contradictions in my thoughts.

Forget life, I am weird.

But I love you all, and will miss you from Mit-land.

For so many reasons, not the least of which is that you can be the worst person in the class, bomb most of the tests, but if you participate a lot, you still get an A-. Where else can you get rewarded for talking a lot and not knowing what you’re talking about? (Other than politics, I mean?)

Oh, BTW, I have pared down the messenger lists, so if you can still see me, you made the cut :)

And for those that were never on, or want to get back on, the lists:
nic8383@msn.com on MSN
nic8383msn on Yahoo
OrderAmidChaos on AOL

Tomorrow night, provided it doesn’t SNOW (what happened to summer?!) I will be seeing my little darling pitbully man!

<--That's a Hootie song lyric, just can't remember which one right now.

I think it's time to start spending less time online. If conversations are so stupid and pointless that you wouldn't have them in person, why have them online? And what is it about the internet that makes people think that their opinions matter, anyway?

Anyway, one of the things I'm doing is cleaning house. First literally, listing all the crap I don't want to move out of my apartment on eBay, kind of one last giant dose of eBay before without_wings is retired.

Secondly, I'm cleaning out my messenger lists and address books, maybe friends lists too. It's difficult to do, because normally I never make the first move and add people. Therefore, it's hard to delete them because there must have been some reason they added me in the first place, right?

Of course, I have a hard time moving on anyway. I mean, look how long it takes me to give up on doomed relationships. Someone should just slap me. Before I start to rust, before I start to decompose. :)

sentimental today

Am I the only one who’s eagerly awaiting the highlights of jour_nil‘s crank call contest? My accomplice and I called several times.

Busy week ahead. Oh well, I used to be bored.

July’s going to be a busy month, and yet I want to drop everything and head to T.O. then. Quel dork. But I loves my internetsky friends.